Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Booze and Fags More Important Than Housing in 1950's



Good to see that people had their priorities right in the 1950's!

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Nanny To Ban Thought Crime Tweeters From Voting


As I have stated before, when Orwell wrote "1984" it was meant to be a warning, not a blue print!

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Monday, September 18, 2017

Euro Nanny Censors Freedom of Speech


Remember, it is a thought crime to criticise the EU and its ambitions for Continental domination!

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Friday, September 15, 2017

Don't Film Suspect Packages!


I appreciate that everyone now thinks that "if it moves, explodes, farts etc" then they should film it.

However, seriously, if you see a suspect package (pre or post explosion) report it and get out of the area calmly and quickly.

DO NOT APPROACH THE SUSPECT DEVICE TO FILM IT!


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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Gender Neutral Shoes - Whither Clarks Commandos?


As per Clarks, as reported in the Mail:
"Clarks has a gender neutral ethos that anyone can choose any style they would like. Over the past few seasons, following customer feedback and market research, we have focused on creating more unisex shoes and we are looking at a number of elements of our business to promote this gender neutral ethos, both on our website and within our stores. 

As a large global company, it is not always possible to implement all the changes we want to make as quickly as we would like. However, we are looking to move as fast as we can to ensure this ethos is reflected throughout our brand.

Today we have more unisex styles in our range than ever before. This means we now have a wider range of closed-in styles, school boots and GORE-TEX® styles and these changes will continue in our Spring Summer 2018 range, which has been designed with an entirely unisex approach."
I am so old I remember Clarks Commandos and the commando handbook.

Oh, and in those days health and safety be buggered you could get your feet x-rayed in their shops too!

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Monday, September 11, 2017

Charles J. Sykes Nails It


Bill Gates didn't do the list, Charles J. Sykes (author of the 1996 book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write, Or Add) is in fact the author.

Hat tip to SkidRowLunchClub for point this out:



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Friday, September 08, 2017

Prat of The Week - James Cracknell

Somewhat belatedly I would like to award James Cracknell my Prat of The Week Award.

Who is James Cracknell?

Apparently he is an athlete turned anti-obesity campaigner.

For why does he deserve the award?

According to The Spectator, Cracknell said in April that North Korea and Cuba had got a ‘handle on obesity’ (ie their hapless citizens - with a few notable exceptions - aren't fat).

Cracknell, by all accounts thinks that is splendid, and is all for Nanny adopting those countries' methods and techniques which he attributed to both countries being ‘quite controlling on behavioural trends’.

There you have it folks, Nanny's chums want Nanny to impose dietary dictatorship.

James Cracknell, well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Thursday, September 07, 2017

Welby Bleats, Yet The Church Doesn't Pay Tax!


I see that the Archbishop of Canterbury is bleating about the economy.

As per Sky News seemingly Britain's economic model is "broken" and the nation is at a "watershed moment", the Archbishop of Canterbury has warned as Britons face the longest period of stalling wage growth for 150 years.

The Rt Rev Justin Welby said "fundamental reform" on the scale of the 1940s and 1980s is required in a report.
"Our economic model is broken. Britain stands at a watershed moment where we need to make fundamental choices about the sort of economy we need.

We are failing those who will grow up into a world where the gap between the richest and poorest parts of the country is significant and destabilising.
This is, therefore, the moment for new, radical policy options to be debated."
Here's a radical policy suggestion, make the Church of England pay tax!


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Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Don't Slouch - Posture Is Paramount!


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Monday, September 04, 2017

Bread and Circuses - A Royal Baby



Things are clearly going to become pretty awful, hence the joy of a Royal birth to distract us all!


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Thursday, August 31, 2017

Prison Smoking Ban Produces Inevitable Result!



Nanny really is a naive old crone, if she seriously thought that banning smoking in prisons would lead to anything positive.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Meanwhile In Australia..


The Independent reports that an Australian activist with a doctorate in early childhood studies, Dr Red Ruby Scarlet, is calling for Father’s Day to be renamed ‘Special Person’s Day’ so that children without dads don’t feel left out or upset by their situation.

Appearing on Today Tonight, the university academic explained that shifting the language around events like Father’s Day will help instil a better sense of belonging.

All very well and nice, but what about Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Christmas Day, Easter etc etc?

A better solution would be the banning of the sales of cards and other useless merchandise, designed to push people into wasting money, on these days.

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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????


MPs have been urged to launch an inquiry into the placement of foster children after a white Christian girl was reportedly put into the care of a non-English speaking Muslim family.

The child, aged five, who speaks English as her first language, has been looked after by two different Muslim households in the past six months.

The girl was reportedly told to remove her Christian crucifix necklace and was not allowed to eat carbonara because it contained bacon.

She was allegedly encouraged to learn Arabic in one household and was begging not to go back there because "they don't speak English", according to a confidential report from the local authority seen by the Times newspaper.

Source Telegraph

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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Nanny Seems To Be Overreacting These Days!


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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Nanny Has Major Sense of Humour Failure


Oh dear Nanny really has a had a major sense of humour failure wrt funds raised for Shropshire Community Health NHS Trust.

It seems that because the funds were raised by men dressed as nurses, the hospital has turned down a donation.

For why?

Nanny believes that their behaviour was "highly-sexualised" and "demeaning".

The Telegraph reports that the men raised £2,500 in the event in Ludlow, Shropshire, which sees them dress up as female nurses and take to the streets with collection buckets.

The fundraising drive for Shropshire Community Health NHS Trust has been taking place without complaint for 30 years, raising around £90,000 in total.

However, Jan Ditheridge, chief executive of the trust, said she is not comfortable with how the event portrays medical staff and refused the donation.

In a letter to the Ludlow Hospital League of Friends, Ms Ditheridge and chair of the trust Mike Ridley, said:
"The presentation of men dressed as female nurse sin a highly-sexualised and demeaning way is wrong, very outdated and insulting to the profession."
Peter Corfield, chairman of the League of Friends of Ludlow Hospital, described the refusal of the cash as "absolutely ridiculous."

He added:
"The event has always run with the full knowledge and support of the hospital and primary care trust management with participation by NHS staff.

The whole thing is a light-hearted fundraiser which has raised between £2,500 and £6,500 each year and so over that period of time it's a very tidy sum."
Ms Ditheridge, chief executive of the trust said:
"It isn't okay to portray healthcare professionals in this way.

We have previously asked that this doesn't happen and therefore don't think it's right to accept any money associated with this activity.

I'm sure the event was organised with the best intentions and we are sorry if it's made people feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Many people kindly and selflessly raise money for our organisation, and especially for our hospitals. We are eternally grateful for that."
Dear oh dear :(
 
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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Pointless!


Can anyone tell me what on earth is the point of living like this?

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Monday, August 21, 2017

Bong!


Oh dear, it seems that the decision to silence Big Ben for four years is down to good old health and safety.

Odd that this has never been a problem before.

Health and safety has managed what the Luftwaffe couldn't!

I would note though, that our "respected" MP's should have known about this when they approved the works order.

Anyhoo, what with the silencing of the bongs, the extinguishing of the lamp on top of Big Ben and tonight's partial eclipse I am wary of a major black swan event coming!

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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Nanny's Brave New Word


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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Nanny To Ban Boozing At Airports?


How "ironic" that Ryanair, Easyjet and Panorama are all bleating at the same time about boozed up passengers.

A cynic might suggest that this is some co-ordinated ploy devised by Nanny in order to allow her to ban boozing at airports!

Anyhoo, be that as it may, the BBC and all other major news organs report that Ryanair has called on UK airports to enforce a two-drink limit, after a BBC Panorama investigation suggested arrests of drunken passengers have risen by 50% in a year.

The airline has already banned customers from drinking duty-free alcohol on board (fair enough!).

It seems that a total of 387 people were arrested between February 2016 and February 2017 - up from 255 the previous year.

Needless to say Nanny's Home Orifice is "considering" calls for tougher rules on alcohol.

Ryanair is also urging airports to ban the sale of alcohol before 10am, and to limit the number of drinks per boarding pass to a maximum of two.

Here are a few thoughts:

1 To put the number of arrests (387) into context, annual passenger numbers published by the Civil Aviation Authority show that in total 251.6 million passengers used a UK airport in 2015.

2 Many of the budget airline destinations are to "all you can drink" resorts, as such what sort of passenger do the budget airlines think they will get if they cater to "all you can drink" holiday makers?

3 I and many others can drink like a fish on a plane, but manage not to assault anyone or ending up being arrested. The issue is down to the nature of the cretins who end up brawling.

4 Banning booze before 10am sounds very "modest", yet airports are international and people are travelling in their own timezones where 10:00GMT may in fact be 18:00 according to their body clocks.

5 Limiting sales of pre flight booze, and stopping drinking duty free on board, may to a cynic seem to be a way of increasing sales of on board drinks!

6 Flying is hellish enough, without the comfort of booze it would be an even more joyless experience.

7 Shite airlines that charge for everything, but still cram people in to seats designed for midget, get bad tempered customers.

8 How the hell do they think that they can enforce a two drink limit? People will get their friends to buy the booze, or they will simply get boozed up before arrival at the airport.

All in all this is a coordinated piece of bollocks that will be used by Nanny to impose unenforceable drink restrictions on 251 million people!


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Monday, August 14, 2017

Gender Neutral Shoes Pave The Way To Utopia!


Now that Nanny has sorted that "major injustice" out, she will turn her attention to the less pressing problems of world peace and an end to poverty and hunger!

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Thursday, August 10, 2017

Red Wine Limits Flu


Hoorah, it seems that drinking red wine can help limit flu symptoms.

The Spectator reports that a compound found in foods such as black tea, red wine and blueberries can prevent severe flu infections in mice, according to new research published in the journal Science.

The research, by the Washington University School of Medicine, also indicates that consuming the plant flavonoids before flu develops will limit its impact.

So there you have it folks, start drinkming red wine now in order to reduce the risk of a severe flu infection in the winter!
 
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Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Vegan Doctor Who - FFS!



THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Climate Change Factoid


The Earth's climate has been in a constant state of change since the Earth came into existence some 4 billion years ago.

Get over yourselves humanity, you are not the cause nor the cure of climate change!

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Monday, August 07, 2017

Nanny's £25BN Sin Taxes


Nanny hates the fact that we drink, smoke and eat sugar, but is nonetheless delighted to make money of of our "sins".

In fact Nanny is raking it in. According to an estimate by the Institute of Economic Affairs, in a  report entitled "‘Smoking and the Public Purse", Nanny is set to screw us to the tune of £25BN next year.

With the forthcoming sugar levy expected to raise £500 million per year, the government’s revenues from sin taxes will now total £24.7 billion by 2018. Contrary to popular belief, the three most censured ‘lifestyle factors’ – alcohol, smoking and obesity – do not cost the taxpayer money. The punitive taxes levied on them more than cover the costs they impose on public finances, providing a net saving to the government of £22.8 billion.

Costs and savings from smoking
  • The government spends £3.6 billion treating smoking-related diseases on the NHS and up to £1 billion collecting cigarette butts and extinguishing smoking-related house fires.

  • The government saves £9.8 billion annually in pension, healthcare and other benefit payments due to premature mortality.

  • The government brings in £9.5 billion annually in duty paid on tobacco.
This means that smoking produces a net saving to the government of £14.7 billion a year, at current rates of consumption.

Costs and savings from drinking
  • The gross cost to public services, including healthcare for drinking related diseases and expenditure on public order, is £4.6 billion.

  • The government brings in £10.7 billion annually in duty paid on alcohol.

  • Net benefit: £6.1 billion
Only obesity incurs a net cost to the taxpayer of £2.5 billion a year. Once the sugar levy is introduced this will decrease to £2 billion.

As the IEA notes:
"It may be easy to point the finger of blame at smokers, drinkers and the obese for rising NHS costs, but this no longer stands up to scrutiny given the findings of this report and the levels of taxation now levied on ‘sin’. And by scapegoating these people, campaigners and policymakers risk ignoring the real problem that our healthcare system faces: an ageing population."
There you have it folks, the real "enemy" of the NHS is not boozers/smokers/obese but the elderly!

This of course presents Nanny with a problem, for if we follow her puritanical lifestyle recommendations we will live to a ripe old, dementia ridden, frail age and bankrupt the NHS.

Would it not be more cost effective for Nanny to tell us to drink, smoke and eat ourselves to a youngish death?


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Friday, August 04, 2017

Booze Boosts The Brain


My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an amusing article about booze.

Seemingly a 30-year study by the University of California, San Diego has concluded that over-65s who indulge in up to three alcoholic drinks a day can look forward to a happy and healthy retirement.

In fact, they said, moderate to heavy drinkers are more likely to live to the age of 85 without dementia or other cognitive impairments than non-drinkers. 

Lead author Dr Linda McEvoy is quoted by the Mail:
"This study is unique because we considered men and women's cognitive health at late age and found that alcohol consumption is not only associated with reduced mortality, but with greater chances of remaining cognitively healthy into older age."
The researchers found that people who drank 'moderate to heavy' amounts of alcohol five to seven days a week were doubly likely to be cognitively healthy than non-drinkers.

Cheers!

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Thursday, August 03, 2017

The Queen Is A Binge Drinker


The Independent revisits an article from 2012 written to coincide with the Diamond Jubilee of The Queen.

According to Margaret Rhodes, the Queen's cousin, HM's alcohol intake never varies. She takes a gin and Dubonnet before lunch, with a slice of lemon and a lot of ice. She will take wine with lunch and a dry Martini and a glass of champagne in the evening.

That comes to 6 units per day, which would make Her Majesty a binge drinker by Nanny's standards.

Nanny states that men and women should not exceed 14 units per week.

If Rhodes is correct, and this is indeed how much Queen Elizabeth drinks per day, then she is on 40.6 units per week.

It warms the cockles of my heart to learn the Her Majesty is sticking two fingers up to Nanny.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Advice To Cash Strapped Councils


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Tuesday, August 01, 2017

Educashun - Less is More!


In an age where every academic institution is called a "university" and every person leaving school is expected to have a "degree" in order to flip burgers, don't be surprised that student debt is so high.

For why?

They have to pay for yacht owning vice chancellors, as per the FT:
"Prof Holmes, vice-chancellor of the University of Bolton, who drives a vintage Bentley Continental, also has a 30ft yacht moored on Windermere and believes academics should not hide their wealth. 

“I have had a very successful career. I hope students use their education to get a good job and then they can have a Bentley. Do you want to be taught by someone who is successful or a failure?” he said. 

Prof Holmes’ taste for luxury is partly funded through an inheritance from his father, a property developer, but he also earned £222,120 in 2016, up from £202,500 the year before."
I am so old that I remember a time when there weren't so many universities, nor students and zero student debt (apart from the debt between parent and student!); because there weren't university fees, and students were awarded a means tested grant.

Less is more!

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Monday, July 31, 2017

Nanny Bans Free Air


Rather bizarrely, Nanny's chums in Tower Hamlets have banned the good people of Isambard's Cycles from offering customers free air via a pump.

For why?

It seems that the pump is an "obstruction".

However, if the bicycle shop paid Nanny for providing free air the pump would then no longer be an obstruction!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Friday, July 28, 2017

Drink Booze To Stave Off Diabetes


Well slap me with a fish!

It transpires that, contrary to Nanny's warnings, people who drink three to four times a week are less likely to develop type 2 diabetes than those who never drink.

That is the conclusion of Danish research published in Diabetologia.

Wine appears to be particularly beneficial, probably as it plays a role in helping to manage blood sugar.

Prof Janne Tolstrup, from the National Institute of Public Health of the University of Southern Denmark, who led the research, said:
"We found that drinking frequency has an independent effect from the amount of alcohol taken.

We can see it's a better effect to drink the alcohol in four portions rather than all at once."
Suffice to say, Nanny is sulking and has said that this does not constitute a green light to drink more.

Well, she would say that wouldn't she?

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Bring Back The Drunkard's Cloak!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Nanny Outsources Policing To Public


It seems things are so tight in some of Nanny's police forces (thanks to cuts and mind numbing bureaucracy) that they are being forced to outsource policing functions to the public.

The Mail reports that Wiltshire Police will no longer visits scenes of shoplifting in Swindon. Instead shop owners will be asked to take down the details of any offenders and file their own statement to the police along with CCTV.

This comes months after Leicestershire Police announced they had been refusing to attend attempted burglaries at houses with odd-numbers in their own bizarre cost-cutting measure.

The force trialled the scheme to assess the effectiveness of sending forensic officers to a crime scene and found it had no impact on the number of incidents or victim satisfaction.

The more laws Nanny passes, which are then not enforced because she doesn't have the resources, the more ridiculous and impotent she looks!

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Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Bare Faced Cheek of Gnomes


My sympathies to Lauren Perry, a keen gardener living in Wistatston, who has been ordered by Cheshire East council to remove two garden gnomes from outside his house.

For why?

They are baring their backsides to passersby and risk distracting motorists. 

Mr Perry got a stern letter from officials claiming the gnomes could cause a "distraction" to motorists as they light up at night, and warning they would cause an accident.


They told Mr Perry to clear the offending items within seven days or workman would be called out to remove them - and bill him for the cost.

The letter, from Cheshire East Council senior highways officer Andrea Bickerton, is quoted by the Telegraph:
"It has been brought to our attention that several ornamental displays and items have been placed on the highway verge in Wistaston.

I am sure that your intentions are meant to be humorous and light-hearted. Unfortunately, not everyone shares the same sentiment.

You are required to therefore remove them at your earliest opportunity. If you fail to remove them, the Council will remove them and recover from you the expense of doing so."
The question is, who the hell reported the gnomes to Nanny?

Mr Perry said:
"I feel very disappointed. My daughter bought them for Father's Day as a bit of fun as she knows I like a laugh. These things are in discount stores in their hundreds on shelves.

How can they be classed as offensive? I put them up two weeks ago - no one ever approached me to complain or ask for them to be removed. The next thing I know, this heavy-handed letter arrives.

I've worked with others for four years to turn a piece of land which had been left overgrown, covered in broken bottles and bricks, into a more attractive area. It's all been self-funded as we were turned down for funding by the parish council.

We even bought the sign that says 'Wonderful Wistaston' - now I feel like replacing it with one that says 'Miserable Wistaston'.

All we've tried to do over the past four years is improve the area where we live - and it's all been self-funded. I could get many more volunteers if I wanted, the support on the whole in the village has been tremendous.

But not from the parish council. There are certain people who have lived in communities for many years who don't like newcomers, regardless of their experience.

We placed a nice colourful bench on the land, and it was ripped up a few weeks later for no reason! 

We've put it back since, and concreted it in."
A Cheshire East Council spokesman said:
"While we do not wish to spoil people's fun, there is a safety issue here as such objects could easily cause a distraction to motorists and other road users, leading to an accident.

We received a complaint about these ornaments which, while seemingly harmless, are designed to attract attention and light up at night.

Therefore, we have to take steps to have them removed in the interests of road safety and the safety of pedestrians."
A very sad individual with too much time on his/her hands must have reported it. Such individuals are Nanny's eyes and ears!

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Monday, July 24, 2017

The Rise of The Flexitarians


Meat substitute company Quorn Foods says it has seen "unprecedented" global growth in the first half of this year, with sales up 19% worldwide.

The firm says it is benefiting from the rise of the "flexitarian" diet. This means more people have been reducing meat consumption in favour of more sustainable protein sources.

Definition of "Flexitarian":
"A middle class person who virtue signals by pretending to be veggie once in a while."
God save us all!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries