Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Bare Faced Cheek of Gnomes


My sympathies to Lauren Perry, a keen gardener living in Wistatston, who has been ordered by Cheshire East council to remove two garden gnomes from outside his house.

For why?

They are baring their backsides to passersby and risk distracting motorists. 

Mr Perry got a stern letter from officials claiming the gnomes could cause a "distraction" to motorists as they light up at night, and warning they would cause an accident.


They told Mr Perry to clear the offending items within seven days or workman would be called out to remove them - and bill him for the cost.

The letter, from Cheshire East Council senior highways officer Andrea Bickerton, is quoted by the Telegraph:
"It has been brought to our attention that several ornamental displays and items have been placed on the highway verge in Wistaston.

I am sure that your intentions are meant to be humorous and light-hearted. Unfortunately, not everyone shares the same sentiment.

You are required to therefore remove them at your earliest opportunity. If you fail to remove them, the Council will remove them and recover from you the expense of doing so."
The question is, who the hell reported the gnomes to Nanny?

Mr Perry said:
"I feel very disappointed. My daughter bought them for Father's Day as a bit of fun as she knows I like a laugh. These things are in discount stores in their hundreds on shelves.

How can they be classed as offensive? I put them up two weeks ago - no one ever approached me to complain or ask for them to be removed. The next thing I know, this heavy-handed letter arrives.

I've worked with others for four years to turn a piece of land which had been left overgrown, covered in broken bottles and bricks, into a more attractive area. It's all been self-funded as we were turned down for funding by the parish council.

We even bought the sign that says 'Wonderful Wistaston' - now I feel like replacing it with one that says 'Miserable Wistaston'.

All we've tried to do over the past four years is improve the area where we live - and it's all been self-funded. I could get many more volunteers if I wanted, the support on the whole in the village has been tremendous.

But not from the parish council. There are certain people who have lived in communities for many years who don't like newcomers, regardless of their experience.

We placed a nice colourful bench on the land, and it was ripped up a few weeks later for no reason! 

We've put it back since, and concreted it in."
A Cheshire East Council spokesman said:
"While we do not wish to spoil people's fun, there is a safety issue here as such objects could easily cause a distraction to motorists and other road users, leading to an accident.

We received a complaint about these ornaments which, while seemingly harmless, are designed to attract attention and light up at night.

Therefore, we have to take steps to have them removed in the interests of road safety and the safety of pedestrians."
A very sad individual with too much time on his/her hands must have reported it. Such individuals are Nanny's eyes and ears!

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Monday, July 24, 2017

The Rise of The Flexitarians


Meat substitute company Quorn Foods says it has seen "unprecedented" global growth in the first half of this year, with sales up 19% worldwide.

The firm says it is benefiting from the rise of the "flexitarian" diet. This means more people have been reducing meat consumption in favour of more sustainable protein sources.

Definition of "Flexitarian":
"A middle class person who virtue signals by pretending to be veggie once in a while."
God save us all!

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Friday, July 21, 2017

Nanny Fines Five Year Old - #LemonadeGate


Nanny and her councils can be nasty pieces of work, as Andre Spicer's five year old daughter found to her cost.

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to a summary of what occurred.

The girl was fined £150 by Nanny's gestapo from Tower Hamlets for trying to sell lemonade in the street.

Andre Spicer said his daughter burst into tears and told him “I’ve done a bad thing” after enforcement officers read out a lengthy legal letter before issuing him the notice.

Mr Spicer said four officers stormed up to the table just 30 minutes after the pair had set up the stand, where they were selling one large cup of the fizzy drink for £1 and a small glass for 50p.

The five-year-old and Mr Spicer, a professor at City University, were given the fine for "trading without a permit" after they set up the make-shift stall near their home in Mile End.

After it was contacted by the Standard, Tower Hamlets Council promised to cancel the fine "immediately" and said it would contact the family to apologise.

No surprises there then, when Nanny is confronted she backs down!

A spokeswoman for the council said:
We are very sorry that this has happened. We expect our enforcement officers to show common sense, and to use their powers sensibly. This clearly did not happen.   

The fine will be cancelled immediately and we will be contacting Professor Spicer and his daughter to apologise.”
As I have repeatedly said, councils are the enemies of the people!

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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Auntie's Socialist Tendencies

 

It seems that Auntie's solution to the gender pay gap (exposed yesterday) is not to increase the salaries of female presenters, but to cut the pay of the male ones.

BBC director of radio and education James Purnell said pay cuts were part of the solution.

He told the BBC's Newsnight programme:
"Quite a lot of men have been taking pay cuts; John Humphrys said that today on air."
Auntie's socialist tendencies are being exposed here, where everyone is dragged down to a lower level.

Errmm..let's see how that works in reality shall we?


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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

BBC Stars' Pay To Be Revealed At 11:00BST



The pay received by the BBC's top stars is to be revealed Auntie's annual report. 

It is the first time this information will be made public.

The review, to be published at 11:00 BST, will list the 96 stars who earn more than £150,000 a year.

Follow the action and reaction live here.

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At Last, A Safety Video That People Might Actually Watch!


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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Pressure Too Much For Robot - It Drowns Itself


My commiserations to the Knightscope K5 security robot which was supposed to patrol the Georgetown Waterfront, a  shopping-and-office complex along the Washington Harbour in D.C.

Unfortunately the pressure of work became too much, and the robot rolled into a fountain and drowned itself!

Looking like a mutant hybrid of R2D2 and a Dalek, the K5 was built to be a crime-fighting robot that could rove the streets and monitor for suspicious activity. It has been used in some offices and malls across America.

ZeroHedge quotes the robot's maker, Knightscope, describes itself as "an advanced security technology company that uses Software + Hardware + Humans to provide its clients with advanced anomaly detection capabilities. Knightscope's long-term vision is to predict and prevent crime utilizing autonomous robots, analytics and engagement." 



All very well and nice, so long as they don't malfunction, are not hacked and don't become self aware.

In the meantime, I dare say some people will now call for support groups for stressed out robots to be set up!

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Monday, July 17, 2017

Chinese Nanny Bans Winnie The Pooh


Chinese Nanny appears to have banned Winnie The Pooh from the internet.

For why?

Pooh has been used in the past in a meme comparing him to Chinese President Xi Jinping.

Poor old Pooh!

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Thursday, July 13, 2017

Nanny Bans Ladies and Gentlemen


The phrase 'ladies and gentlemen' is being scrapped from tannoy announcements on London Underground.

Tube bosses want to make the service more gender-neutral and have told staff to use phrases such as "good morning everyone" instead.
We want everyone to feel welcome on our transport network. We have reviewed the language that we use in announcements and elsewhere and will make sure that it is fully inclusive, reflecting the great diversity of London.
Mark Evers, Director of Customer Strategy at Transport for London

Please can someone tell me why the phrase "ladies and gentlemen" is so offensive, when it is clearly being used in a polite manner?

I really don't understand this, am I so old and out of touch?


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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Nanny Says "Run Like Hell!"



The chair throwing bouncers, and Millwall fan clearly didn't watch this!

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Monday, July 10, 2017

Euro Nanny Hates Booze


My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of an article in the Independent that warns about nanny having a go at drinkers again.

A report by United European Gastroenterology wants alcohol sales to be restricted and minimum pricing introduced.

For why?

Seemingly Europe needs to be weaned off its “deeply embedded” fondness for alcohol.

Apparently Europe drinks more alcohol than any other part of the world and consequently has the highest rate of ill-health and premature death linked directly to it.

Seemingly the Brits are to blame in part (a swelling of national pride!) because of the 24-hour availability of alcohol in the UK. However, we only rank eight in the boozer league (Lithuania comes out top).

Notwithstanding that, Euro Nanny wants evening sales banned, minimum pricing introduced etc etc.

Euro Nanny can F Off!

eualcoholtable.png


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Thursday, July 06, 2017

How Far Is Too Far For A School To Be?



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Tuesday, July 04, 2017

Safety Fork


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Monday, July 03, 2017

Glastonbury Irony KLAXON



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Thursday, June 29, 2017

Humanity Becoming More Cretinous Day By Day


The Telegraph reports that a woman fatally shot her boyfriend in a YouTube stunt to "boost her online profile".

Monalisa Perez from Minnesota claimed after being charged in the shooting that it was a stunt gone badly wrong.

Ms Perez, who is pregnant, was charged on Wednesday with second-degree manslaughter in the death of Pedro Ruiz III.

According to a criminal complaint, 19-year-old Ms Perez told authorities Mr Ruiz wanted to make a YouTube video of her shooting a bullet into a book he was holding against his chest.

She says she fired from about a foot away and then fled the house, screaming.

Is it me, or are people becoming more cretinous day by day?

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

When Is An ID Card Not An ID Card? When It's A Card Of Identification!



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Monday, June 26, 2017

Glastonbury - The Reality!

One naive soul noted that Glastonbury was a vegan paradise..all very well and millennial no doubt, except for the fact Glastonbury is a dairy farm.

Let them eat humus!

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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Hottest Day Since Goodness Knows Alert


Allegedly today will be the hottest day in 176  years or 40 years depending on which MSM outlet you follow.

Nanny is now slavering with excitement at the thought of all the warnings and advice she will dispense.

I dare say we will survive without her input!


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The Horror!


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Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Warmish Weather Puts Britain on Cusp of National Emergency!



Bollocks! 

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Only The Health Puritans Will Be Cared For


No farking point in living so long if you can't enjoy your life!

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Monday, June 19, 2017

Nanny's Warm Weather Curfew


Heads up everyone, because of the current spell of warmish weather Nanny is telling people to stay inside out of the sun between 11:00 and 15:00.

Small factoid, in many other countries it is a good deal warmer than the UK for a lot longer than this current warm spell will last.

Why does Nanny feel that we are so weak and feeble that we can't survive a bit of warmth and sunshine?

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Friday, June 16, 2017

Kudos To Auntie


Kudos to Auntie for dropping Lily Allen from Newsnight.

That being said, I am somewhat mystified as to why she was slated to appear in the first place; given that she is not an expert in:

- fires,

- building safety,

- body identification etc

nor for that matter does she even live in the area full time (as she has a rural retreat).

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Thursday, June 15, 2017

Question Re Fire Safety Procedures


I have a genuine question regarding fire safety procedures in blocks of flats.

When I was a kid, we were always told to immediately leave the building when the fire alarm sounded. When and why was this advice changed to "remain in your flat"?


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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Sweden's Weapon Against Smoking - Snus!



Ironically Nanny has banned snus in the UK!

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Thursday, June 08, 2017

Nanny Shuts S&M Club Over Health and Safety Fears


The Telegraph reports that a sadomasochist swingers club with a dungeon and torture chamber has been shutdown over health and safety concerns.

The Vivente private members club in Sunderland has been closed down for not complying with fire regulations.

Sunderland Magistrates' Court heard that as many as 60 revellers could be crammed into the club, which described itself as having a "whole new modern approach to the swinging lifestyle".

An old website for the club said the basement dungeon was "complete with St Georges Cross, stocks, sex-swing and plenty of implements to inflict pain".

There's irony for you!

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Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Public Health Quackery - Christopher Snowden Nails It!


Follow the thread to see more.

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Monday, June 05, 2017

The Health and Safety Aspects of Shooting To Kill Terrorists


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Friday, June 02, 2017

Earth Is Bolloxed Up - Go and Get Drunk!



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Friday, May 19, 2017

The 12 Point Anti Nanny Manifesto


In other words, don't stick your nose into other people's business; let people live their lives as they wish to, so long as they don't harm others.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Holidays Are Bad For You


Nanny's chums from Liverpool University have conducted a study which, in their eyes, proves that taking a fortnight's holiday is bad for you.

Apparently two weeks of enjoying yourself not only piles on the pounds and farks up your liver, but also causes a loss of muscle mass.

As per The Sun:
"Researchers asked 28 fit, young adults to cut activity levels by 80 per cent, from 10,000 daily steps to just 1,500. By the end of 14 days, they had lost a third of a kilogram of lean muscle and their waistlines had grown 1cm.

And when they took up their old exercise regime, they did not get back in shape within a fortnight."


Now fair enough 14 days of over indulging and lounging about will no doubt add a few pounds, and temporarily give your liver an extra "workout". However, will you lose muscle mass?

As with everything else, despite Nanny's desire to compartmentalise us, there is no one size fits all answer.

As per Livestrong:
"In the most drastic scenario, you can lose up to 80 percent of your fitness level in as few as two weeks if you’re new to exercise. If you are incredibly fit and have been training for years, you’ll hang onto your fitness level for about three months, ACE Fitness says. 

If you start retraining after a lull, however, your muscles will remember where you left off and build up more rapidly than if you were just starting a new program. 

The detraining period actually strengthens muscle fibers, which means your retraining can lead to a higher fitness level that you might have been able to achieve had you not taken a break, Columbia University says."
In other words Nanny, as usual, is scaremongering.

For why?

She wants us to cut back on holidays and work more, so that she can take her cut of our salaries.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Nanny's Nice Little Earner - The Litter Police

The BBC's Panorama has exposed one of Nanny's nice little earners, namely finin g people fro dropping litter.

A private company acting as the "litter police" for dozens of councils pays officers a bonus for issuing fines.

One officer from Kingdom Services, a leading enforcement company, claimed that his bonus one month was £987.

Other officers were filmed handing out £75 fines for tiny pieces of dropped orange peel and poured-away coffee.

Kingdom told Panorama that its competency allowance was not a paid incentive for officers to issue fines.

Councils are increasingly using private companies such as Kingdom, based in Cheshire, to enforce the Environmental Protection Act.

Kingdom currently has about 28 contracts with local authorities and last year saw its profits jump 30% to £9m.

Guess what?

The company frequently splits the proceeds of the fines with the councils!

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Monday, May 15, 2017

Salt Helps You Lose Weight


Some research done on Russian cosmonauts wrt salt will greatly peeve Nanny.

New studies of Russian cosmonauts, held in isolation to simulate space travel, show that eating more salt made them less thirsty but somehow hungrier. Subsequent experiments found that mice burned more calories when they got more salt, eating 25 percent more just to maintain their weight.

What's going on?

It seems that a high salt intake causes the body to break down fat into water in order to flush the salt out, thus causing an increase in calories burned in order to break down the fat.

Well then!

Nanny will not like this at all!

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Friday, May 12, 2017

Tax Sweets Too - The Rise of The Wowsers


Nanny's chums from the charity Action on Sugar are of the view that the the sugar tax on drinks (coming in next year) doesn't go far enough.

As such they also want a tax on sweets.

Yawn!

There is a certain type of person, with a sad and empty life, who fills their personal void by "saving others" even if they don't want to be saved.

The Australians call these people "Wowsers".

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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Contradiction Is Not Persecution


As true now, as it was then!

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Wednesday, May 10, 2017

UK Is The Second Worst Nanny State In The EU


The UK is the second worst nanny-state in the EU, according to research from the Institute of Economic Affairs.

Britain falls behind only Finland in rankings from the Institute of Economic Affairs.

The Nanny State Index, published by the IEA and the European Policy Information Centre, scores countries on regulation of private, lifestyle choices.

Using 32 criteria related to food, soft drinks, alcohol, tobacco and e-cigarettes, it identifies the best and worst countries to eat, drink, smoke and vape.

The UK’s high position is attributed to excessive regulation and “sin” taxes, including plans for a levy on sugar in soft drinks.

Other measures cited include the extension of a ban on junk food advertising and measures to cut branding on cigarette packaging.

The UK also maintains the highest taxes on cigarettes and wine in the EU and the second highest taxes on beer.

The UK has some particularly punitive sin taxes. It has more than twice as many nanny state ‘points’ as the best performing countries, Germany and the Czech Republic. It has the highest taxes on cigarettes and wine in the EU and the second highest taxes on beer. The UK has seen a rising tide of lifestyle regulations in recent years, including:

  • Its smoking ban, introduced in 2007, allows fewer exemptions than that of almost any other country;

  • In May 2016, the UK and France became the first European countries to ban branding on tobacco products (‘plain packaging’);

  • A ban on ‘junk food’ advertising to children was extended to digital media in December 2016;

  • A UK-wide tax on sugary drinks is expected to be implemented in 2018;

  • There is a ban on sugary drinks in Scottish hospitals and both the Scottish and Welsh governments support minimum pricing for alcohol;

  • The only sliver of liberalism comes in the UK’s approach to e-cigarettes. Although the Welsh Assembly has proposed banning vaping in many indoor public places, no legislation forbids e-cigarette use in the UK.
Germany and Slovakia retain their positions as the most liberal countries in the EU.

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Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Nanny Bans Fags In Council Houses

 

It seems that Nanny's chums in some councils have decided that her subjects are so thick and intent on self harm, that they must have their lives controlled by Nanny even when they are in the privacy of their own homes.

As such council housing tenants may be prohibited from smoking in their own homes under new rules being considered by some councils.

Under the prospective new rules new council tenants would have to sign an agreement pledging not to smoke before taking up residence in a council property.

Professor John Middleton, president of the Faculty of Public Health, is quoted in the Telegraph (using Nanny's favourite whine "won't someone think of the children?"):
"Housing associations and councils are looking at smoke-free housing buildings. Where children are involved I think there is a real case for it.

You wouldn’t evict a load of tenants for smoking. Where you have got new premises you could have smoke-free agreements from the start."
Deborah Arnott, chief executive of anti-smoking charity Ash, claims that people were “frustrated by councils’ and social landlords’ failure to take action” on smokers damaging the health of those around them.

It's not their farking business what happens within someone's home!

How the hell would this be monitored?

Smoking inspectors with warrants to forcibly enter your home?

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Monday, May 08, 2017

Danger Llamas On The Line!


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