Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Taking The Pith

Sorry folks, no "pithy" article today; I am tied up with a number of things (business, family etc etc).

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Southern Advice

My compliments to Southern Railway for the following advice displayed on their "in train" electronic message boards on Tuesday:
"During hot weather please remember to take a bottle of water with you. If you fell unwell it is normally best to get off at the next station and seek assistance."
Sage advice indeed, so long as the toilets work and the train isn't stranded for too long between stations!

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Question?


Which magazines and papers objectify women?

The so called "lads'" mags such as "Nuts" which have been banned by certain shops because they show women in "sexist" poses, or "mainstream magazines and papers" (that campaign against "lads's mags") that deride female celebrities when they put on weight, show signs of ageing or have the "temerity" to appear in public without make up?

Views and comments welcome.


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Monday, September 23, 2013

Bin Brother - Double Taxation

Now call me an old fashioned and naive bod, but I thought that part of our council tax was meant to go towards refuse collection?

Not so according to South Gloucestershire Council (SGC).

In their view, despite the fact that their hapless residents already pay council tax the council want taxpayers to recycle garden waste but will charge them £56 per annum for picking it up (bringing in a tidy £1.2M per annum).

Local residents will be charged £36 to pick up their green bins, and a further £20 for a bundle of ten recycling sacks.

SGC is quoted by the Taxpayers's Alliance:
"If the council ultimately chose not to charge for the green bin service, then we’d have to implement cuts that could affect valued services such as libraries."
In other words the council will not cut the costs of its own bureaucracy, but are happy to threaten the services that taxpayers pay for!

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Friday, September 20, 2013

Nanny's Plastic Bag Tax

I am ungemused to see that Nick Clegg wants to introduce a 5p charge for plastic bags in England (apres the 2015 election which he will lose), in order to discourage people room using them.
The charge will apply to supermarkets and larger stores.

In theory, if the supermarkets are feeling "generous", part of the 5p may be donated to charity.

Will, I wonder, the charities selected be the same ones who regularly stuff unwanted plastic bags through people's letterboxes when they are looking for donations?

Given that consumers will be forced to pay for the bags, does this mean that supermarkets will now remove their logos from them (after all it really will add insult to injury if we are forced to pay for the privilege of advertising the supermarkets!)?

No, I thought not!

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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Prat of The Week - Councillor Ben Duncan

Oh dear I see another example of "pillockery" and "prattery" has emanated from Brighton council or rather, to be more precise, from a Brighton councillor.

Step forward Green councillor Ben Duncan who has suggested that Brighton council “boycott” a city taxi firm (City Cabs).

For why?

City Cabs has had the "temerity" to publicly criticise (via two adverts) council proposals for a city wide 20mph speed limit, calling the limit a "declaration of war on motorists".

A second advert published in The Argus said:
Driving around Brighton and Hove is tough enough. We don’t want it to become any harder.

On Twitter Duncan said:
Wondering if we’ll have to start urging official BHCC boycott of City Cars (sic) after they declare war on council 20mph speed limits.”
Some delegates at the Green Party Conference were quick to support the idea, with one tweeting: Duncan now says that said he “strongly disagreed” with a boycott implying that City Cabs were of "subnormal intelligence"!:
 “I think a boycott at this point would be disproportionate – and it’s important that we know all the facts first. 

I can see why a child or someone with subnormal intelligence might assume I was calling for a boycott now but they’d be wrong. 

The problem is that this ad was based on untruths. It suggested that the 20mph limit was a war on motorists, when in fact it is about enforced peace.”
WTF is "enforced peace"?

Is he suggesting the UN send troops to Brighton?

Ben Duncan, well deserving Prat of The Week!


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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Sugar - The Legal High



In May 2102 I noted that Nanny was fulminating about the dangers of sugar, and that it is as dangerous as drugs.

Well fast forward to September 2013, and we see that Nanny is again going on about sugar and calling it the "most addictive drug of all times".

Paul van der Velpen, the head of Amsterdam's health service, wants to see sugar tightly regulated.He is quoted by the Telegraph:
"Just like alcohol and tobacco, sugar is actually a drug. There is an important role for government. The use of sugar should be discouraged. And users should be made aware of the dangers.

This may seem exaggerated and far-fetched, but sugar is the most dangerous drug of the times and can still be easily acquired everywhere.
Sugar upsets that mechanism. Whoever uses sugar wants more and more, even when they are no longer hungry. Give someone eggs and he'll stop eating at any given time. Give him cookies and he eats on even though his stomach is painful.

Sugar is actually a form of addiction. It's just as hard to get rid of the urge for sweet foods as of smoking. Thereby diets only work temporarily. Addiction therapy is better.

Health insurers should have to finance addiction therapy for their obese clients. Schools would no longer be allowed to sell sweets and soft drinks. Producers of sports drinks that are bursting with sugar should be sued over misleading advertising and so on.
Well then!

Can someone please tell me how to get this cupcake out of my left nostril, that has become jammed there?


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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, September 16, 2013

White Lines



I was gemused to read about a wee tiff between David Tamplin (a Brighton resident) and Brighton and Hove council, over the painting of some white lines in the road.

Mr Tamplin, according to the Argus, thought he was doing the council a favour by touching up a faded 15 metre white line outside his property.

Quite why someone would go out and spend £45 on paint to do the council a favour is beyond me!

Anyhoo, the council claims that Mr Tamplin has painted the white line incorrectly whilst Mr Tamplin claims that he has painted it exactly as it was before.

Who is right?

I don't know, but the council have stated that they intend to burn off the markings and do the work themselves; the council will then bill Mr Tamplin £10 per metre plus £30 for two markings at the end (total estimate being £200).

The council has admitted the issue sounded trivial, but said it was responding to a complaint from a neighbour. There also seems to be a dispute over the alleged removal of a section of kerb.

Whatever the real facts of this story, it shows once again that coming into dispute with a local council can be an expensive business and not for the faint hearted!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, September 13, 2013

The "Tragedy" of Hungry Kids


Sharon Hodgson MP tweeted this today:
"Pupils being held back by hunger - tragic findings make Gove's comments this week look even more out of touch."
Wondering how many pupils have died as a result of starvation (given her use of the word "tragic"), I clicked on the link which took me to a Guardian article about a survey commissioned by Kelloggs that seemingly identified that some school kids arrive at classes in the morning hungry.

It claims that 2.4 pupils in each class turn up for school at least once a week without having had breakfast, so are unable to concentrate.

The unsurprising "solution" proposed by Kelloggs (a manufacturer of breakfast cereals) was for there to be more breakfast clubs.

Factoids:

1 Nanny has been berating us for being overweight and for eating too much.

2 Cereals generally are loaded with sugar and other crapola, none of which are good for kids.

3 Missing a breakfast is not a tragedy, I rarely had breakfast before a schoolday and look what happened to me.

4 Kids are always hungry.

5 It is the role of the parents, not the state, to feed their offspring.

6 Ask a poverty stricken child (or his/her parents) in Africa what real hunger means and feels like!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bishop's Castle Bell Enditis

Loyal readers, with good memories not addled by booze, age or illicit substances, may recall that on occasions I have written about towns and villages where the complaints of a minority (usually one newcomer) cause the silencing of church/clock bells (eg Wrington and Kendal).

I see yet another case of "bell enditis" has hit the headlines, this time in Bishop's Castle.

Seemingly Henry Hunter, the owner of the Castle Hotel in Bishop's Castle, was fed up with the town's 18th century clock chiming every 15 minutes as it kept his guests awake; he made an official request to have it chime less frequently during the night.

Unsurprisingly, given that the clock has been there since the 18th century, his request provoked uproar (according to the BBC) on the town council's Facebook page although it looks reasonably tame to my tired old eyes.

That being said, I am pleased to see that common sense has prevailed and it was announced at a meeting of town councillors this week that the request has been withdrawn.

Shirley Gould, who moved to Bishop’s Castle from Glasgow 22 years ago, attended the meeting and is quoted by the Shropshire Star:
The visitors and tourists still keep coming and going. Some complain about it, or about the cocks crowing, or the cows mooing, or the church bells ringing.  And then they go.

But still the clock keeps chiming on the quarter hour.  And long may it continue.
Well said!

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Global Warming Killed The Mammoth



I am gemused to see that according to scientific research two periods of global warming, one being 120,000 years ago and the other 30,000 years ago, caused the extinction of the woolly mammoth.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but human beings were not driving cars or emitting greenhouse gasses (to any great extent) at those times.

Conclusion?

Humans do not cause periods of global warming, the planet does it all by itself with a little help from the sun and other non human factors.

As a species we need to remember that we are not the centre of the universe, and not the be all and end all of natural events!

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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Auntie Descends Into Civil War


In November 2012 I wrote about "Incurious" George Entwistle, who helped Auntie out of a jam by resigning from his job as Director General of the BBC after a mere 8 weeks in the position.

Auntie was so touched and overcome with gratitude that she awarded him a full year's salary of £450,000, on top of his £877,000 pension pot as a leaving present. Oddly enough Auntie's own headlines on that morning neglect to mention the pension pot.

That's a leaving present of £1.3M!

Anyhoo, here we are in September 2013 and Nanny has finally woken up to the fact that maybe this payoff and others were a tad OTT. As such, the "great and the good" from the BBC and the BBC Trust were summoned to Parliament yesterday for a wee chat with the Public Accounts Committee (PAC) over the issue of executive payoffs.

It was a "jolly" affair indeed as the BBC's high command ended up blaming each other for the mess, and refusing to acknowledge that in the real world (outwith banking) people are held accountable for payoffs to ex execs.

The Telegraph reports that during three hours of intense questioning by MPs, former Director-General Mark Thompson and Lord Patten, the chairman of the BBC Trust, repeatedly contradicted each other about the payoffs of up to £1million.
Thompson accused the BBC Trust of making “misleading” and “damaging” comments, while the chairman of the BBC Trust said he had been accused of "having misled the committee on something I never knew".

One BBC non-executive director claimed the pay-offs had been "value for money", while another said that they were "eye-watering" and part of a culture of extravagance at the corporation.

Margaret Hodge, chairman of PAC, described the appearance by the BBC executives as "grossly unedifying" and said it could only “damage the standing and reputation" of the BBC.
At the best I think what we have seen is incompetence, a lack of central control, a failure to communicate. At its worse we may have seen people covering their backs by being less than open.” 
Nothing new there then in Nanny's and Auntie's world!

Nice to see our licence fees being so "wisely" used!

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Monday, September 09, 2013

Prats of The Week - Kingston Council

Ooh err missus, 'tis a wet and windy Monday morning and therefore time for me to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Kingston Council.

For why?

For their £275K newly relaunched website that, according to the Surrey Comet, is riddled with errors.

Kingston Society member Matthew Rees tweeted:
The new @RBKingston website is riddled with errors but I cannot report them as the contact us page is one of those that is broken.”
Classic!

David Cooper tweeted:
It really is crap. They haven't managed to [do] a simple thing such as setting up redirects from old URLs to the new ones. Basic stuff.
Conservative councillor Andrea Craig said councillors should have been involved.
It is a great improvement but...we were not happy that, as usual members, were not consulted properly about it. There were spelling errors in it and there wasn't a small focus group of residents to canvass their opinion/input before implementation.”
A Kingston Council spokesman said:
The new website is a huge improvement, already successfully handling about 500 transactions (e.g. payments, requests, bookings) a day. 

It reflects what our customers have told us they want. Many people have complimented its design, new features, content, accessibility and mobile-friendly layout. 

The council spent a great deal of time testing the site before it went live. 

With several thousand pages of content there are bound to be a few things that need correcting. 

We have a feedback form on the site for people to tell us what they think and help us to make the site even better.” 
Clearly it was not tested rigorously enough!

Kingston Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Friday, September 06, 2013

The Rule Book

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to story about Alan Chittock, an employee of Southend Central railway station, who leapt on to the track to help rescue a disabled woman whose wheelchair rolled onto the line.

Mr Chittock and three others jumped onto the line whilst other staff tried to alert signallers; they managed to save her before the other train arrived.

Now, as is the case with incidents of this nature, the rail operator (c2c) is conducting a formal investigation in order to identify exactly what happened and to try to see if there are any lessons that can be learned.

Sadly, this being an exercise by the "rule book", Mr Chittock has been suspended pending the outcome of the investigation.

Whilst the Mail fulminates that this is an injustice, its ire and that of Bob Crowe (never shy of wading into something if it will aid his political and personal ambitions) should be temporarily placed in stasis.

When accidents happen, investigations need to be carried out in order to determine the facts; it would be irresponsible of c2c not to conduct a thorough investigation. As to whether they handled the suspension of Mr Chittock with sensitivity or not it is not clear.

That being said, if the facts are as stated by Mr Chittock then after the investigation is concluded he deserves to be fully reinstated and awarded a commendation for acting as a human being not a robot.

Rule books are there for guidance, sometimes human instinct should be allowed to override the rules.


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Thursday, September 05, 2013

Nanny Hates Social Media


Aside from wanting to stop us looking at boobies etc on the net, Nanny has a real dislike of social media (such as Twitter and Facebook) in general.

For why?

Just as when the printing press was invented, governments don't like it when people find ways to communicate with each other and criticise government policy etc. Thus social media, which abounds with criticism of government policy, is a particular anathema to Nanny.

She disguises her real reason for hating it by playing the "won't someone think of the children?" card; Nanny claims that children are misusing social media sites, and as such the sites should be regulated.

The solution to the "misuse" by teenagers etc of social media sites is not to regulate it to death, but to educate children as to the risks and consequences of sharing their entire life with strangers (in much the same way as I was warned as a kid not to accept sweets from strangers etc).

Additionally, parents may actually care to take an "interest" in their childrens' upbringing and possibly not give them mobile phones with cameras until they are sure that their kids understand the risks of posting photos etc.

This is not an area that should be regulated in a heavy handed manner by Nanny, who is intent on controlling what we say about her (cue Vietnam's recent ban on anything being posted on the internet other than "personal information").

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Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Porn In Parliament

I am hugely gemused to see that our governing class and their servants, whilst "beavering" away in Parliament for the "good" of their voters, have managed to find the time to access porn sites on the internet.

The BBC reports that more than 300,000 attempts were made to access pornographic websites at the Houses of Parliament in the past year.

The data was released following a Freedom of Information request by Huffington Post UK, which published the story with the headline Oh Yes, Minister! 

Now the really gemusing thing is that our "beloved" governing class has been banging on about introducing pron filters etc for the rest of us, as we are deemed not able to handle seeing people's naughty bits. Yet our elected representatives believe that they should be able to see naughty bits.

As per a parliamentary spokesperson quoted in the Huffington Post:
"We are not going to restrict Parliamentarians' ability to carry out research."
One rule for the governing class and another for the governed, 'twas ever thus!

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Tuesday, September 03, 2013

The Dangers of Walkie Talkies

Oh dear I cannot help but guffaw at this story (not at the damage caused though) that so clearly highlights that no matter how mind numbingly restrictive Nanny's local council planning laws can be, the most incredible architectural howlers can still be approved and erected (ooh, can I have an erection before the watershed?).

Step forward whoever was responsible for designing and approving the Walkie Talkie skyscraper in Eastcheap. Aside from being a bit of a carbuncle, it also seemingly has the power to melt cars.

That at least is the claim made by Martin Lindsay, and others, who have found that bits of their cars (parked within the vicinity of the erection) have melted as a result of the building allegedly magnifying the suns rays and focussing them onto the cars.

CityA.M. reports that Mr Lindsay was distraught to see the warped panels along the side of his high-spec Jaguar XJ.

He parked his Jaguar at 12.45pm on Thursday afternoon but when City A.M. visited an hour later there was a smell of burning plastic and some panels were beyond repair. The building (dubbed the Walkie Scorchie after it began reflecting the ray of light that has left passers-by shielding their eyes) has also badly damaged a van parked nearby.

Eddie Cannon, a heating and air conditioning engineer, said his Vauxhall Vevaro had suffered similar damage on Wednesday:
"The van looks a total mess – every bit of plastic on the left hand side and everything on the dashboard has melted, including a bottle of Lucozade that looks like it has been baked.

When I got in the van it was a really strange light - like it was illuminated and they were filming. I want to know what effect it's having on people walking down the road." 
Joint developers Land Securities and Canary Wharf said they are investigating and are quoted:
As a precautionary measure, the City of London has agreed to suspend three parking bays in the area which may be affected.” 
Man's hubris, when it comes to erections, knows no bounds!

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Monday, September 02, 2013

Brighton Council Ties Itself In Knots Over Health and Safety

I am gemused to see that Brighton council has managed to get itself into a right old mess wrt granting some travellers access to the Wild Park in Brighton.

The park has a padlocked entrance and artificial mounds etc, in order to prevent unauthorised access and encampments. However, because a group of travellers arrived the other week and started driving over the pavements and mounds the council decided to open the gates in order to reduce the health and safety risk.

The result being that the council must now go through the courts for a possession order to evict the travellers, which will take days and potentially cost the taxpayer thousands of pounds.

To reduce the risk to everyone, confidential emails seen by The Argus confirm that officials at Brighton and Hove City Council decided to open the locked gate. Police officers have said the decision meant powers to legally evict the group straight away had disappeared.

A confidential email sent by the local authority to councillors said:
After the initial trespass was reported, Sussex Police highlighted the dangerous nature with which the group were accessing the field, as the main access gate was locked following previous enforcement action. 

As such a decision was taken to open the access gate in order to reduce the risk to road users and to stop the occupants from crossing the pavement to access the road.”
So there you go folks, if you deliberately and knowingly put yourself at risk the council will do what it can to save you even if your actions are illegal.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries