Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Happy Strike Day Folks



Happy Public Sector Strike Day folks!

I think the above picture sums up the state of the country, and its educashun system, very well!

DAMP SQUIB UPDATE

BBC: "Early indications" show significantly less than a third of civil servants are taking strike action today

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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Dangers of Balls

I see that an American Doctor has done some research on the dangers of heading soccer balls, and come up with the conclusion that it may cause brain damage.

Dr Michael Lipton of Montefiore Medical Center, the university hospital for the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, has concluded that frequently heading a football can lead to brain injury.

There does appear to be a "safe" level of around 1,000 headers, but beyond that damage seems to occur.

Well, judging by the dimwitted antics of some of our overpaid footballers, the good doctor may well have a point! 

I suggest that also studies the effects of repeated scrummages etc on the intelligence and behaviour of some of our "professional" rugby players as well!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, November 28, 2011

Nanny Bans Sanity Clause



Tis soon the season to be miserable etc, as Nanny and the ongoing global financial crisis do their respective bests to undermine any feeling of joy and hope.

In this respect it should come as no surprise whatsoever to learn that Nanny's little helpers are doing their best to put the mockers on the old tradition of sitting on Santa's lap (an old fat guy with a bright red face).

Schools up and down that land, feeling festive and frivolous, have been allowed to dispense with a Criminal Records Bureau check on those seeking to play Santa in the school grotto.

Hoozah!

However, this being Nanny Britain, many schools are erring on the side of caution.

As such, they are imposing rules on "grotto behaviour".

Children will be banned from sitting on Santa's lap, and will not be allowed to be left alone with him.

That's a nice message to send kids, isn't it?

Quite what the schools think Santa can do, given that the parents are within earshot and visual range of their kids I don't know.

The schools are not entirely to blame for this, government guidance states: 
 
Under no circumstances must a volunteer who has not obtained a CRB disclosure … be left unsupervised with children.” 
 
Thus, one can assume that the rule applies to Santa!
Le's face it, subjecting a child to physical contact (eg a hug, lap sitting etc) by a well meaning adult is guaranteed to leave them emotionally scarred. Far better that they receive absolutely no physical contact at all, ever.

That way they will grow up to be well balanced, emotionally mature adults!

Errrm...hang on a minute??

However, it's not all bad news. That other staple of the British Christmas season, panto, is still being allowed to continue.

Panto is where the principle boy, played by a girl in a short tunic, gets to kiss the leading lady, and where a middle aged bloke gets to dress in women's clothes and make jokes loaded with sexual innuendo.

Six miles to London, and still no sign of Dick!

Hoh hoh hoh! 




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, November 26, 2011

A Swedish Christmas With Oh So Swedish



Off topic, here is a shameless plug for my partner's (Eva) Swedish arts and crafts website Oh So Swedish.

Eva has added some delightful Swedish Christmas products to her site, such as the "Ken Tomtenisse" (a hand made and unique Christmas decoration from Sweden, which looks great on a shelf or on your mantelpiece) above.

Why not pop over to her shop, browse around and add a little Swedish theme to your Christmas this year?

Thanks for reading.

Ken



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, November 25, 2011

Guilty Until Proven Innocent



I see that Nanny's obsession with her mantra of "won't someone think of the children?", has reached dizzying heights of intrusiveness and zealotry.

Criminal records checks are still being routinely carried out on children as young as ten (the deemed age of criminal responsibility), despite the "promise" by the government that these checks would be scaled back.

Children are having their background vetted when they volunteer for such normal childhood activities as; cricket/tennis coaches, doing work experience, leading girlguides and scouts etc. Additionally, the children of foster carers are also having their records checked.

It seems that there were nearly 60,000 applications for CRB checks on children aged 16 and under (including four 10 year olds) in the last year.

Some councils and organisations engage in blanket vetting of all youngsters, ie they assume that all humans are threats to others until a bureaucratic check "proves" otherwise!

Hardly a nice message to send to children entering adulthood!

This of course provides a nice little earner for the Criminal Records Bureau (CRB), for you see they are paid a nice fat fee for every check requested!

Ker Farking Ching!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, November 24, 2011

EU Clusterfuckery



Given the ongoing disintegration of the Euro experiment, I was more than gemused to recently read about some spectacular EU Clusterfuckery cooked up by our EU Overlords.

It seems that, according to EU officials from the European Food Standards Authority (EFSA) after a 3 year investigation, there is no evidence to prove that water rehydrates you.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Seemingly reduced water content in the body is a symptom of dehydration, and not something that drinking water can subsequently control.

Errmm...that sounds like bollocks to me!

But what do I know about drinking, hydration or anything technical like that?

As such, producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from claiming that water rehydrates you, if they make such a claim they will face a 2 year jail sentence.

This clusterfuck law comes into effect in the UK in the next few weeks!

Given that the NHS states that drinking water helps avoid dehydration, will the NHS be subject to a 2 year prison sentence?

To my humble view the EU is one giant Clusterfuck!

(Please feel to make this phrase go viral, eg via Twitter).



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Aciiiid!



Following on from yesterday's article about supermarket idiocy, I am gemused to read that yet another supermarket (this time the mantle of idiocy falls on Asda) has managed to cover itself in "glory".

Marisa Zoccolan, a chef, popped into her local Asda in Wallsend to buy some groceries including two limes.

She went to the self checkout to pay.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, she was forbidden from buying the two limes.

For why?

The acid contained within the two limes is deemed by Asda to constitute a potential weapon!

An "assistant" informed her that one lime was OK, because a single lime could not be used as a weapon.

Well, I would dispute that. I am sure an imaginative assailant could do an awful lot of damage to someone with but one citrus fruit!


Anyhoo, Asda "graciously" allowed her to buy two limes.

Asda blame a software glitch for this and other fruit related incidents.

Dear oh dear!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Morrisons Are Prats

My thanks to a loyal reader who dropped me an email yesterday, about some knobheaded prattery going on at his local Morrisons.

My correspondent went to his local Morrisons in Crewe for a spot of shopping with his 13 year old daughter.

For why?

To buy some ingredients for her cookery class at school.

Unfortunately my correspondent made one "silly mistake".

He had the temerity to go to the real ale section of the store as well, and buy 4 cans for £5.50.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, on attempting to pay for the purchases my correspondent was asked by the checkout guy to produce id for him and his daughter. Given that an id for his daughter would show that she was under 18, even though the beer was being purchased only for himself, the purchase was refused.

I am given to understand that the manger of the store was told, in no uncertain terms, that the store would never be visited again.

Quite right too!

Sainsbury's of Nantwich had no such qualms about serving the beer to my loyal reader, even though his daughter was in his presence.

Is it me, or are many supermarkets getting way above themselves and behaving like a right bunch of self righteous, interfering, Nannying bastards?





Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, November 21, 2011

Dying For a Fag - Knobhead Physicians Heal Thyselves



Last week I wrote about the attack of "Dictateitus" that infested the BMA wrt its bollockheaded decree that smoking should be banned in cars (even if there are no passengers in the car).

The stated "rationale" for this absurd outburst was some "research" that showed that a smoke filled vehicle contains toxins 23 times greater than a smoke filled bar (therefore doctors should in fact be encouraging us to get out of our cars and head for the nearest smoke fill bar!).

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the "research" has been shown to be bollocks!

The British Medical Association (BMA) has been forced to issue an humiliating apology.

Quote:

"Further studies demonstrate that the concentration of toxins in a smoke-filled vehicle could be up to 11 times greater than that of a smoky bar. We apologise for this error."

Pah!

"Further studies"??

What, between the time of the BMA original press release and the hours later when someone told them they were talking bollocks/lying??

Another fine example of Nanny using shite and unscientific "research" to justify her prejudices. I am pleased to see that she was caught out lying on this one.

The medical profession outstrips many others in its abuse of fags, drugs, booze etc; they are not in a position to dictate to the rest of us what we should do or how we live our lives, especially when they resort to using lies to justify their diktats.



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Oh So Swedish Christmas Products



Off topic, here is a shameless plug for my partner's (Eva) Swedish arts and crafts website Oh So Swedish.

Eva has added some delightful Swedish Christmas products to her site, such as the "Ken Tomtenisse" (a hand made and unique Christmas decoration from Sweden, which looks great on a shelf or on your mantelpiece) above.

Why not pop over to her shop, browse around and add a little Swedish theme to your Christmas this year?

Thanks for reading.

Ken



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, November 18, 2011

Bring On The Superwaffe!



Problem sorted then David!
Follow me on Twitter to keep up to date @ken_frost



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Beware The German Juggernaut!

I suggest that loyal readers of this site pop over to my Finance site and read today's article about the German Juggernaut, it is relevant to those who wish to maintain some form of democracy in this country.

I trust and assume David Cameron understands what is at stake.




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Nanny's Spy in The Cab



I am more than a little gobsmacked to learn that Oxford City Council has decreed that all of Oxford's 662 taxis must be fitted with microphones and CCTV cameras.

For why?

The council wants all conversations and images in the cab to be recorded, cameras etc will start automatically as soon as the ignition is fired and will continue up to 30 minutes after the engine is turned off.

Cabbies must keep recordings for a defined period of time afterwards.

This is a gross intrusion into personal privacy by the state.

As noted many times before on this site, councils are the enemies of the people.



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dying For a Fag



I see that the British Medical Association (BMA) has had an attack of "Dictateitus" and has come out with a bizarre decree that smoking should be banned in all cars, irrespective of whether there are passengers in them or not.

Seemingly the toxins from fags in cars are really very "dangerous".

Here's why this idea is bollocks:

1 It is up to the individual how they kill themselves (whether by smoking, drinking, eating, drugs, fornication, excess exercise etc etc), we all die in the end.

2 The ban would be unenforceable, given that fags are still legal.

3 If toxins from fags in cars are so dangerous, why is it the doctors do not call for a ban on cars (which spew out far worse toxins) as well?

4 The medical profession outstrips many others in its abuse of fags, drugs, booze etc; they are not in a position to dictate to the rest of us what we should do or how we live our lives.

Physician heal thyself!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Nanny Bans Herge



I see that one of Herge's Tintin books has fallen foul of the pc brigade.

Apparently publishers of "Tintin in the Congo", Egmont UK, want to shrink wrap the book and attach a warning to perspective purchasers about its content.

For why?

In the view of the publishers there are certain scenes within the book (reworked in 1946) that are racist, and they feel that some readers may be offended.

The warning reads:

"In his portrayal of the Belgian Congo, the young Hergé reflects the colonial attitudes of the time.

He depicted the African people according to the bourgeois, paternalistic stereotypes of the period – an interpretation that some of today’s readers may find offensive."

It seems to me that so long as it is clear that the book was written at a time when attitudes where very different, then instead of "placing it off limits" in this way it would actually serve as an excellent educational tool for demonstrating how society has progressed.

Additionally, by making it "top shelf" material it will make it highly attractive to certain people for all the wrong reasons.




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, November 14, 2011

They Walk Amongst Us



As we know, Nanny's "educashun system" and her "wipe your arse" approach to self responsibility has created a nation of morons.

My thanks therefore to a loyal reader of my HMRC site who, within a comment about an article I wrote, included the following examples of how moronic as a nation we have become:

"I stopped at Mc Donalds and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said would you like some fries with that?

One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!
"



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, November 11, 2011

Nanny Bans Union Jack


I am saddened to see that Holme Pierrepont and Gamston Parish Council have succumbed to complaints from residents about the flying of the Union Jack on the village green.

The flag was flown to celebrate the royal wedding, and has been left permanently in situ more less ever since.

However, some residents have complained and the council now only want to fly it on special occasions.

John Harbury-Carlisle, of Holme Pierrepont and Gamston Parish Council, has threatened to resign from the council if the flag is removed.

The problem here is that, owing to political weakness and pc policies around the country, we as a nation have allowed organisations such as the BNP to highjack the flag for their own nefarious ends.

It is apparent that many people are ashamed to be associated with the flag.

This is wrong!

The only way to overcome this, is to reclaim the flag.

Hence it should be flown by councils etc, and not hidden away.



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Knobheads



I see that bastion of ethics, Fifa, has managed yet again to cover itself in glory.

This time it finds itself hitting the headlines because it has decreed that the England football team must not have their shirts embroidered with a poppy emblem for this Saturday's friendly against Spain at Wembley.

Fifa do not allow religious or political symbols on shirts (though marketing logos etc are more than welcome), and is of the view that the flood gates would open and the "neutrality of football" would be threatened ( LOL "neutrality"!!??) if it allowed the poppy to be embroidered on the shirts.
Commonsense indicates, to those who have it, that the poppy is not a political or religious symbol. However, Fifa appeared to be bereft of commonsense; until Chris Heaton-Harris MP managed to broker a deal whereby the England team can wear the poppy embroidered on black armbands.



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Fat Studies


Now here's an interesting thing, wrt fast food and obesity, that may well put Nanny's nose out of joint.

As we all know, the two bete noires of Nanny's life are obesity and poor people.

Nanny hates obesity and, because Nanny is middle class and loves to lecture others, finds poor people a particularly easy target for her caprices.

Up until now it has been conventional "wisdom", as espoused by Nanny and her "experts", that poor people tend to be fat and that their obesity is derived from their unhealthy reliance on fast food as a medium of sustenance.

Hence this gave Nanny the chance to rant against fast food emporiums (middle class areas so hate to see kebab shops et al next door to purveyors of organic produce etc).

Anyhoo, a study by the University of California has rather pricked Nanny's theory about poor people eating fast food.

Contrary to popular wisdom, it seems that people's visits to fast food establishments increase as their incomes increase; poor people were spending fewer dollars on fast food than lower-middle and middle-income Americans (who, apparently, are less obese than the poorer income levels).

What does this mean?

It means that fast food is not the only driver of obesity levels in poor groups.

Could it be that the environment in which people live (eg accessibility to fresh food, as opposed to sugar based snacks etc) has a bearing on people's obesity/health?

Well, commonsense would indicate this, but of course Nanny does not believe in commonsense. Nanny will continue to direct her anti obesity/fast food message towards the group that she likes to lecture (the poor), ignoring the fact that the poor cannot necessarily significantly change the environment (eg accessibility to fresh food, at affordable prices) in which they live.



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Euro Prattery



A belated good morning everyone, I am somewhat bleary eyed from my new found role of "Boob Inspector" (see yesterday's article);).

But I jest!

Anyhoo today seems an appropriate day, what with all the pantomime going on in Europe, to announce a special variation of my "Prats of The Week" Award:

- Euro Prattery

I can only say that the European Court of Justice well and truly deserves this week's "Euro Prattery" Award.

For why?

For their remarkably idiotic ruling that requires all jars of honey to be relabelled to show that they contain pollen, which manufacturers will have to prove is not genetically modified.

Errrm.... does not all honey (by definition) contain pollen?

Don't bees rather get covered in the stuff?

Now, I admit that dubious countries of origin may well add all sorts of chemical shite to their honey. However, the requirement to add a label to show that honey contains pollen is absurd Euro Prattery at its most farcical.

We can safely assume that the UK will end up being the only country in the EU to waste time and money on complying with this idiotic ruling.

The European Court of Justice, well deserving winners of this week's "Euro Prattery" Award!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, November 07, 2011

The English Diet



What a glorious start to the week, not only did I receive an email invite to participate in an online study of fake and real boobs (I kid you not!), but I also read that some "experts" believe that the English diet is in fact incredibly healthy.

"Experts" from Oxford University have concluded that if the Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh ate like the English it could save 4,000 lives a year.

It seems that the English diet reduces the risk of cancer and heart disease!

Hoozah!

Double chips for me please!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Happy Guy Fawkes Night



Have it large tonight folks!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

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Friday, November 04, 2011

Booze Matters - Beware False Data

I am gemused to read that apparently 4% of 12 to 13-year-olds drank 28 or more units of alcohol in the last week.

This is the "reality" and a "fact" according to a study by the Schools Health Education Unit.

Beer, larger and cider are popular choices with boys, while girls are opting for wine and spirits, the study found.

The source of the data?

Children!

Please pull the other one!

When did a child ever not exaggerate when asked about his/her capacity to drink, outperform others in sports, sexual prowess, fag smoking capability etc etc?

Let us not base government policy on "I can out drink me mates" surveys carried out on children!



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Thursday, November 03, 2011

Acropolis Now!



In view of the totally chaotic and surreal double pantomimes that are going on in Cannes and Athens at the moment, I thought a few musings on the demise of the Euro project are pertinent.

The latest rumour/counter rumour is that George Pap (the PM) will resign, this was then immediately refuted by an official media spokesman. The reality is that he will be forced out of office today, after the latest emergency cabinet meeting. In fact it has been announced that following that meeting he will call on the president of Greece.

UPDATE

He will offer his resignation in 30 minutes.

What happens then?

A government of national unity will be formed, and plans will be put in place for some form of elections at some unspecified date.

In the meantime the markets are having a nervous breakdown, and the EU "leaders" are flapping around like beached fish. A press conference hosted by Barroso has just been cancelled, indicating all is not well, and Obama is furious that his time at the G20 has been wasted by this self inflicted farce.

The future?

Greece has already lost control of it economy and its right for self determination (under an army of occupation of EU bureaucrats), as to how long it tolerates this situation is unclear.

Its exit from the Euro is a matter of days away in my opinion.

The lesson to the Eurozone "leaders" of this farce is that you cannot impose an economic policy on a sovereign nation by diktat, unless you have an real army of occupation; ie dictatorships only survive when they are backed up by physical force.

The above should make everyone rather worried, as the "leaders" may one day opt for using an army to keep the Eurozone together.

Follow daily updates on the end of the Euro by subscribing to Acropolis Now!





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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Prats of The Week - Princess Productions

Well now folks, here's a real treat; another "Prats of The Week" Award!

Hoozah!

This time it goes to Princess Productions (owned by Newscorp).


What have they done to deserve this award?

Just ask the good people of ARRSE (The Army Rumour Service).

I have reproduced the text in full of ARRSE's description of what happened (see below).

In my opinion Princess Productions are indeed well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

How it all began

Princess Productions are a TV production company, notable for their excellent contributions to absolutely nothing of value. Their world and the ARRSE world happily moved in their own circles for years, blissfully unaware of each others existence.
That is, of course, until late one Friday afternoon, 21st of October 2011. An employee of Princess Productions, Lucy Weston, decided that it would be a rather jolly idea to fly Soldiers' wives and newborn children out to a combat zone in order to surprise them.

I'll copy it here so you can be sure nothing is lost in the edit:

The original post

'Hi there!
I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I am a television researcher for a TV production company called Princess Productions. I was wondering if anyone might be able to help with a pilot TV show I am currently working on.
The show is going to be a combination of Surprise Suprise and Flashmob (the current phenomenon made famous by the T-Mobile advert). So we are currently looking for incredible people who could be the recipients of the surprise of their lives, a massive super-sized celebration to say thank you, give someone a huge send off, ask somebody to marry them or reveal some exciting news.
We thought it would be a lovely idea to surprise soldiers currently serving in Afghanistan. Maybe they are yet to meet their newborn babies. We would like to give them a huge surprise by flying the baby and all the family over for a massive moral boosting exercise and chance for him to cradle the son or daughter he has never met. We also want to treat the soldiers to a huge flashmob style thank-you from all the British public for the on-going work they are doing.
We obviously understand the logistics involved in this might be complicated. At this stage I was just wondering if you might know of anyone who this might be applicable to, if you could help to spread the word to fellow supporters and family members or if you could kindly put me in touch with anyone who might be able to help further with my enquiries?
I would really appreciate anything anyone could do to help. I was just wondering if you might know of anyone who this might be applicable to, if you could help to spread the word to fellow supporters and family members or if you yourself have a special someone you would like to give the surprise of their lives. Anyone interested can email me on *************.
I hope to hear from you soon!


Arrsers Reactions

Of course, the members of ARRSE were overjoyed that the Media wished to honour them in this way. I mean, who wouldn't want their wife and newborn baby being brought out to meet them in a FOB in Afghanistan. Perhaps they might even be able to film the reunited family sweeping a dusty track for Taleban IEDs. It would make great TV.
Well, the reactions of some of the ARRSE members were a little surprising. In fact, I think Lucy had the surprise of her life.
It’s difficult to suppress the rage, but wiping the froth from my mouth, I have a mucker who’s currently serving. Perhaps you could throw his newborn out of the back of a plane over his CP? I bet he would be really surprised.- Quiet_Soldier
Firstly, not a good idea to “suprise” a soldier on tour. Secondly, if I was on tour and you flew my wife/GF with newborn in to an operational theatre of conflict, I would punch your fcuking lights out – Wellyhead
Look, this young innocent lady went out of her way to google British Army, to find the epicentre of all military and human knowledge available on this planet, to research a watery-eyed corporate money-maker off of our and our relatives backs, and to get up in the rankings of one of the ugliest companys known within the shores of Great Britain. – Aleegee 1698
I think it’s a fucking brilliant idea. Watch a coked up tv crew get pissed around from pillar to post by RAF Movers. After three days of sleeping on plastic chairs and eating horror bag meals, the presenter then has the shit kicked out of them – on camera – for having the worst possible idea of bringing family members into an operational theatre. You could call it “Surprised? I’ll give you surprised, you retarded fucking mouth-breathing civvy-media c**t”. - Sure fire hit. Oh, and could Piers Morgan present? – dropshortjock

The Gronk Board

Naturally, the "serious" thread spawned asatanic little brother in theNAAFI Bar, where the personal qualities of the Princess Production "team" were discussed at length, after reference to their Gronk Board. Julie Kaye won it by miles because me Julie is well fit.

The Backpedal and the Scapegoat

Eventually, Princess Productions realised that not all publicity is good publicity, and issued a super-injunction on ARRSE forcing the removal of the original thread, but then surprisingly posting acrap apologyfor the original message, blaming a very junior member of staff after which the original thread was re-instated, albeit edited and locked.

The Daily Mirror

No love lost between Mirror Group and the Murdoch Empire, when the whole sorry affair was reported inThe Mirror


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Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Día de los Muertos

Happy Día de los Muertos everyone!

As Europe is plunged into crisis by Georgie Papandreou's shrewd move in calling a referendum, I see that Scottish Nanny is trying, yet again, to introduce a minimum price for booze.

Minimum pricing was rejected in a 76-49 vote at Holyrood last year. However, MSPs approved a ban on discount deals, such as two-for-one bottles of wine, and restricted "irresponsible" drinks promotions and advertising near premises.

Well, if Nanny does get this through I doubt that it will by any discernable measure reduce the amount of booze imbibed in Scotland. Similar pricing schemes operated in Scandinavia simply push those who drink "Scrumpy Jack" etc to brew their own. During the 5 years I lived in Stockholm I saw many drunks wandering the streets!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries